End Of Month Reflection: May
As I write this, the sun is shining and I have the 'walking back to happiness' playlist blaring on my spotify, and in this moment, everything seems right in the world. I always end up writing these posts late, however I really enjoy writing them, they're simply therapeutic, so I decided to publish anyway.
May was another month that came and disappeared just as I realised we were nearly half way through the year. The Christmas in July press days are pouring into the work calendar and it's kind of scaring me. I honestly never believed older people when I was little when they would say as you got older time just seemed to flash before your eyes, but it's true. Funnily enough, I had my palm read at an event recently and I was informed that I was going to live a long life. I know that's what everybody presumably wants to hear, and it's some fortune that is somewhat generic, but I was a little taken aback by it. Not only because I escape death on a daily basis (nearly been run over on numerous occasions), but because I am not sure I want to live a long life; some say that is a rather morbid thought, but it's the truth. More to the point, it got me thinking about where I was headed in life, and that freaked me out even more than the prospect of getting my palm read in the first place. I am usually one to hate change and run in the opposite direction if anything hinted a slight chance of change, but I am actually coming to the conclusion that things do need to change and shift slightly in order for me to get to my final destination, wherever that may be.
I am not saying I am going to quit my job and run off to the other side of the world, but I guess everything is starting to feel a little samey, I need to shake something up. I am starting with getting back on track in terms of my dietary lifestyle. I have become increasingly unhappy and May really was the month that highlighted many of my insecurities, and that stemmed from how I looked. So as all of you as witnesses, I herby state that I am no longer going to binge in bouts of unhappiness; instead I am going to focus my negative energy into changing how I look, for hopefully a positive outcome. I have got back into using the My Fitness Pal app, which really helps me see what kind of stuff I am putting in my body, and makes me just the right amount of obsessed to want to see good things in my food diary. It's been three days and I've done OK, but let's hope I stick at it. I actually eat quite well in terms of cooking meals, but my snacking in recent months has spiralled out of control. I lost quite a bit of weight last year and then decided to celebrate by eating shit again, hence the vicious circle. Anyway, wish me luck. Hopefully I can report some positive change at the end of this month.
I hope you all enjoy the sunshine!